i got a feeling

feeling strangely happy lately. i say strangely because it is a sort of happiness i haven’t felt since perhaps ISKL and that eventful summer. i feel like an irresponsible waif swimming through the deep end of fortuity, with my compounded mishandlings sliding glibly like water off a duck’s back. my back. there were times when things were honestly not easy, but recently the weeks have been as smooth as wine and bubbly like beer. i am excited. there are so many things to do and so many places to see that my so many obligations have so many glorious ways to be put off. i am with literature, i am with careless, careless academic achievement, and i am with an unexpected combination of kindred spirits. who knew such happiness had such a distracted quality? i am reminded of the times i walked down streets with Cow (do you remember?) and needed to be tugged to one side or another to avoid running into things in front of me, since my focus would be anywhere but on the journey forward. everything besides the obvious paths seems so much more enticing, and i am happily allowing all such distractions to detour my attention. i am alice in wonderland. i am a domino out of place in my queue. i am lady lazarus with all her limbs back and with a long list of things to do.

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