de retour dans le pays de merveilles

it is tuesday afternoon just after the Easter weekend and i am again late for class. as always, i have just snuck in the back with a sheepish smile, slunk into my chair next to R and clumsily popped open my laptop. the prevalent thought on my mind right now is that i am glad i chose those 2 hours extra of sleep this morning instead of working, because my fiche technique has turned out to be due only next week – a last minute reward from my heathen God. next week! that’s an eternity away.

i’m feeling bright. perky. a secret spring of smiles. i want someone to ask me how my weekend was, why is it that i sweep in and out through my classes sans souci like a mindless butterfly, why i look so colourful today. if i could wear all the colours of the rainbow and the gunk from the gutter in one outfit, today would be the day. i feel one with joy, with life, with the beauty and grotesqueness of it all. give me injustice and i will happily pin it to my plumage. slap me in the face and i will smear the glow over my cheeks. throw me a kiss and i will anoint my hair with it. today, i am a monkey in a tie-dyed costume. i am everybody’s clown, for hire to celebrate… why… everything quoi. tout dans le monde. ce monde de merde et de merveilles!

the combination of Amsterdam, spacecake and Henry Miller makes today seem absurdly ordinary. people are back to Facebook, to pretending to listen to GST (who woos his students today by tossing us Kinder Schoko-bons at random), to wondering what to cook for tonight, to figuring out a deux-partie outline for tomorrow’s exposé… wherefore art the magic in this world? where is the looking glass through which we can slip to the other side?  the mundaneness of this life is so stifling, i want to run, run, run, run, run away. give me more Amsterdam, more Tropic of Cancer. give me another hit of life’s opium dreams…

end of class. plus de rêves. plus tard.


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